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randomegbert:

image

do you want me to bring you some milk

dude, i can wait until tomorrow. i mean, unless you want to stay over or something.

pff

dont you have school in a few hours me coming over now would probably be bad and involve you going to school with no sleep yknow

randomegbert:

yep, a whole bunch of them. like, imagine everyone you know, and then imagine they’re all in catholic school. i do mean everyone. i still don’t know who eridan is, but i think they have one of those.

so i guess it could be worse.

we could BE them.

and are you sure you’re still a top 40 musician, or is that a thing you never actually lose even after your album is old?

yeah well i couldnt be them because even if bro raised me religious itd be hindu so scratch me off for that one tyvm

i mean i could easily fall out of the top 40 but as long as im making more music that people like then i keep the status and my new single is being cut right now so p sure im good

randomegbert:

i think it’s all those catholic school people i saw not too long ago. they got me thinking about it a little more.

but i just want things to not be hard or awkward and school is exactly those things. why does it have to be that way?

catholic school what

tbqh the entire idea of religious school has always confused me like its cool if youre religious or whatever but how about we keep church at church and at school we dont learn about a white guy with a beard farting out the universe aight

p sure it doesnt HAVE to be that way it just is

but you are kind of dating a top 40 musician sooooooo maybe it doesnt have to be THAT hard

unless you want it to i guess

randomegbert:

dave, i’m jewish and i don’t even know what that means. it literally hasn’t mattered in my family longer than i’ve been alive, but it matters to some people.

why does life have to be so complicated?

idk man

but how did this suddenly turn into a weird feelings jam about race issues i thought we were talking about tanning

randomegbert:

how am i even that white? what is this white magic that makes my skin burn like it does? i don’t even know how to be white. that’s probably a good thing.

:|

and also, it makes you smell bad. i know you’re trying, and i appreciate that, but i wish you didn’t smoke.

you dont need to know how you just are

but its ok i forgive you

i wish people would stop asking me about my home country and asking me to speak in my native language during interviews but we all know thats never gonna happen

randomegbert:

:|

why must you mock my easily burnable skin? and do i have to complain about your smoking habit?

because youre so fucking white i cant even stand it do you not tan at all do you have no melanin in your skin where did it all go

youre like the whipped cream on my caramel latte

no one needs to complain about that because i know its gross and thats why i do it outside

pupchan:

B) on the outside :( on the inside

me: tru tbh but like idk like but idk man u kno? idk

anthophilousfloricide:

yeah youre right about that thanks for telling me though ill make sure to repay you somehow 

like maybe ill take a photo for you just tell me what you want and ill do it 

i thought everyone wanted to cry and have their hearts ripped out of their chests though 
its okay just do it anyways itll be worth it in the end trust me 
its like one of those warhead candies yknow first its kinda sour then its sweet then its gone and youre left feeling empty 

i want you to live your life and be happy this is my final wish

emptiness is my favorite feeling totally not soul destroying at all